Friday, May 6, 2011

Midnight Sun - Why There Needs To Be A Rehab For Book Crack

First, a disclaimer:
I am not a fan of Twilight, well at least not a normal fan. I love to hate it. I've tried to read the books but couldn't get past the multitudes of problems everyone else will site.  On the other hand the movies, while absolutely terrible, have given me more joy than I would normally admit in a public setting. I also respect what Stephenie Meyer has done for teenage readers, even if I not-so-secretly wish Neil Gaiman and Marcus Zusak had the same effect. 

Last week I was relaxing in my living room watching the extended edition of Deathly Hallows and trolling around on the internet. In a freakish chain of events (or clicks) I found myself on the Midnight Sun Wikipedia page, and from this page very quickly found myself to the 12 chapters that had leaked back in 2008. Since Meyer had posted them on her site, I decided there could be little harm in reading them.

Now, I've never read Twilight (or any of the other books). I tried once. I couldn't get past the first page. I wanted to. I wanted to know why so many people were freaking out over these books, but in the end I settled for the movie version and did a lot of hysterical laughing whenever R.Pat said spider monkey. I know this isn't fair to the books. I've gotten into heated arguments with people who have seen the Harry Potter movies and never touched a copy of Sorcerer's Stone because I know these people, especially if they liked the movies, are really missing out. I totally understand if you're a Twilight fan and think I'm a big, stinky hypocrite. I accept this label.

It's scenes like this that have me laughing hysterically, as well as running away from the M's at Barnes and Noble.

Reading Midnight Sun was a lot like reading Dan Brown. You're vaguely interested in the story, but the person doing the story telling is irritating you, and then you finish and everything was kind of disappointing. Kind of like going out on an amazing first date to find out that he's actually your half brother. It's started out fun and ended in some form of vomit and horror.  It's the crack of the book world. It's fast to read, bad for your mind and isolates you from other people for long periods of time.

As far as the actual story it wasn't as bad as I expected. True, it's just Twilight from Edward's perspective, but he can run pretty fast, and his thought process revolves around the possibility of mass murder, which is kind of interesting. Really, if you put the cliche writing aside for the first several chapters, Midnight Sun was actually almost enjoyable.

In the beginning all of Edward's thoughts were rational, he wanted to help protect his family and he hated high school. Pretty normal stuff. He would read some minds, was confused about Bella, but everything was fine.  It isn't until he's actually around Bella that the shit starts to hit the fan. He spends an awful lot of time envisioning a mass murder, which would have been much more terrifying if Twilight didn't exist. Really once he gains control and decides he won't kill her it's "Edward is a crazy stalker" time. Really. He follows her around, watches her sleep and is just generally really, really creepy. Edward around Bella is intolerable. It's amazing the rest of the Cullens didn't get together and decide to put him out of his misery.

Since Stephenie Meyer had her little fit after these pages leaked Midnight Sun remains unfinished. Maybe this is a good thing. Edwards perceptive is that of an obsessive stalker who luckily finds the one girl who's into that (or to stupid to know she should GTFO before she dies). Midnight Sun is just a companion piece. Nothing more.

Love you all, even those who love Edward and think Bella's the Bee's knees! Have a great weekend!


Tipsy - said...

Hahaha, that was awesome. Great start to the weekend!! :)

ComaCalm said...

I prefer the movie to the book, purely because it's laughably watchable. I can happily say I hate Twilight - I've read all the books, including The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner - which is better than the Twilight books. I really enjoyed it.

Cutiepie-vintagegirl said...

wow. I am a twilight fan even though i know there are some seriously dodgy things about the book, and i actually enjoyed reading your post. edward is kinda seedy in midnight sun.